How To Weaponize A Hair Dryer
by Ysavvryl
Summary: This is why there are rules about not tinkering with household appliances without permission in Figaro Castle.


**How to Weaponize a Hair Dryer**

A loud snap was not the kind of thing one wanted to hear from a hair dryer, especially not accompanied by a smoky scent. Terra shut off the dryer and unplugged it quickly. While it was warm, it wasn't actually on fire. But the dryer wouldn't be safe to use now, annoying because she only had half of her hair dry. At least nothing big was supposed to happen today.

And, maybe some fun could come out of it. She patted the other half of her hair with a towel so it wasn't dripping and finished up her dressing for the day. While some people expected her to dress like a queen, she wasn't a fan of big ornate dresses. Maybe a lightweight dress to deal with Figaro's desert environment in the day, she might get used to those. She was starting to like patterned skirts with a matching shirt, which was what she had picked out for today. Then she took the dryer (still warm) and left to find her husband.

Edgar was in the throne room, reading some documents and seeming bored. As she came close, he looked over and smiled. "Ah, there's my lovely sunbeam of joy! Good morning, sunshine."

"Good morning," she said, smiling back for a moment. It was wonderful having so many reasons to smile now. "The maids were talking about how you haven't had to add any gil to the flirt jar for a month now."

"They're still shocked, are they?" he said, chuckling a bit. It had been a joke at first, that he should put some gil in a jar any time he flirted with another woman and that she could use that money for whatever she wanted. While Terra was not too concerned about it (there was a clear difference when he was serious about things), one of the castle staff had set up the flirt jar and Edgar agreed to use it. And some of the staff were not about to let him go back on that agreement.

"Right, but they were glad you're making an effort," Terra said.

Edgar waved her closer and took her arm when she did. "It's really nothing, it just means all my efforts are focused entirely on you. You look beautiful today."

"My hair's half-damp and uncombed, and I wouldn't want to meet with company like this," she said.

"But I still see the most beautiful woman here, one with a strong heart," he said softly. "So do I get anything for keeping my word?"

Terra laughed lightly and kissed him. "Maybe later. But if you're not too busy, I was wondering if you wanted to look at my hair dryer. It snapped while I was using it, and smelled awful too."

"Hmm, something shorted out?" he asked, interested.

She handed the beige-colored dryer to him. "Possibly, I wouldn't want to use it now. But I can just pick up another one and let you toy with this one."

"I have wanted to take one of these apart since the guy won't reveal his designs," Edgar said, trying to glance in the device. "If you smelled something, it should be obvious where it broke. Thanks, it'll be fun tinkering with it."

Although he was curious, he went ahead and finished up his official business for the day. Terra knew he didn't like all the paperwork, so she helped out with things she'd been instructed on. If she had any questions, Edgar almost always knew the answers or could come up with a response quickly. There were days he complained about having to deal with forests of bureaucracy. He preferred going out to investigate and solve problems in his kingdom himself. However, he still completed the mundane tasks of governing most days. It meant that the staff didn't complain when they took off to do other things for a while.

Once they were done, they went right to his workshop. There was arguably less that Terra could do here to help him. Still, she could make sure he took a break for meals, or be an extra pair of hands for tasks like securing something in a clamp or grabbing the fire extinguisher. And he claimed that he worked better with someone to talk things out with, that even her questions on how things worked would help him solve problems.

"I wonder if they had somebody new on the assembly line," Edgar said shortly after getting the casing open. "It was a fault in the wiring, that much is obvious. The design should be good with proper construction."

"Then it should have lasted much longer?" Terra asked. "I've had it for about a year now."

He nodded. "Definitely. Did some damage too, might've caught on fire. Good thing it didn't. I could replace the wires, but I can't undo all the damage to make it safe for the intended purpose. But this heating coil and fan, hmm… I wonder..."

It actually took two weeks for Edgar tinker with the hair dryer, taking an hour or two when he could between his duties as king. When Terra went to buy a replacement, she got a second for him to mess with as well. She teased him that it was his reward for not having to use the flirt jar, which made him laugh for quite a while. It was fun being the cause of his excitement over a new project, the way any worries were forgotten whenever he talked about it. Seeing him like that made her feel happy too.

When he was done, he took her outside of the castle to show what he'd done with it. Both the dryers, actually. They weren't recognizable now as ordinary household appliances as he'd discarded the old casings to fit additions to the inner workings. It was now a black and gray device vaguely shaped like a hair dryer, with a tapered end and many other additions to increase the power and heat output of the dryers. With that, it was now capable of stripping scales off a sand crocodile and blasting away lighter monsters.

"Not the most powerful battle tool I have, but I can still make it better," Edgar said, grinning as the crocodile took off to avoid losing any more scales.

"It's no good as a hair dryer unless you want to go bald," Terra said, smiling at the idea. "And even then, you'd want goggles to protect your eyes."

"What, did you expect it to remain a mere hair dryer in my hands?" he said jokingly. He twirled his hyper dryer around before setting it in his belt, then came closer to her. "Have I ever told you how lucky I am to have you, that'd you'd put up with such nonsense out of me?"

"Many many times," she said warmly. "And I'm lucky to have you always making me smile even if it is with such nonsense."

"Given how we first met, I know your smile is a previous thing." Edgar put an arm around her. "Though I still hope you can find something you love to do as much as I love tinkering with machines. If you need anything at all to get started, just ask."

She used to feel awkward when he made such offers. After the bewildering times when she got freed from the Empire's control and met Edgar and their other friends, Terra had found herself by taking care of children. It was only a matter of time now when they'd have their own family; she was excited and happy for that. Nervous too, but the older women around the castle assured her that it was normal. But maybe…

"I've thought about taking up sewing again," she said. "I had to learn to help mend the children's clothes and it was often a nice break from things." Feeling playful, she then tapped his nose. "But if I do end up getting a sewing machine, you don't get to mess with it unless it needs repairs, and then it's only the repairs, got it?"

"But a sewing machine would be so interesting to take apart," he protested in jest. "Although, maybe I could build one myself."

"I'm sure you could, but wouldn't you get tempted to tweak the designs?" she teased back. "I'd end up with a sewing machine that doubled as a machine gun or something."

"Well no, it would be more like a miniature tank," Edgar said, making her laugh. He looked just as happy at that as when he got to mess with the hair dryers. "Okay, okay, I promise that I'll keep your sewing machine as just a sewing machine. We can get you a simple one, and then I'll make sure to build you a really great one sometime, one that can do anything from quilts to silk embroidery."

"I'll be looking forward to what you come up with," Terra said, hoping that sewing would be a fun thing to learn more about.

She didn't have to hope to be happy and loved anymore, because she had that right in her arms.


End file.
